It’s the weekend after a busy week and today has been spent mostly reading. I’m currently reading “The Terror” by Dan Simmons, and am engrossed with the story. I finished the first 5 “American Vampire” TPBs, David Morrell’s “Creepers” and “Station Eleven” by Emily St. John Mandel since last I wrote. I started “Lemony Snicket” but I was rather annoyed with the constant stopping to define words. I understand that’s great for the kids for which it was written, but my patience couldn’t take it. I may finish it later. I read short stories in between. “Creepers” appealed to me as an urban explorer, although I haven’t explored for a while. MD was rich in abandoned hospitals and the like, but not so for SC. Well, the trip to the Southwest with Raven is booked for April, and I plan on checking out some old ghost towns while we’re out there. It should do us both good to get away. Travel has a way of clearing my soul.
Jack, the one eyed black kitty we adopted, is settled in nicely. I planned to get two cats, and should have got them at the same time, but I didn’t. So Jack and Merlin sometimes play, sometimes smack each other, but generally get along. Jack is a sweetheart… I really want to give him a better name, but nothing has seemed to fit so far. I still miss Wraith and Rudy. Especially Rudy… I had him longer and he was such a lovebug. I picture him often, with his various expressions, and remember how he looked stretching, and running and sleeping. I think he was doomed from the time he was dumped in the shelter, but with a lot of help from Ali, we saved him, and I’m grateful for the time I had with him. He always had health issues left from the shelter mess, and they are what ultimately killed him. But he knew he was loved for the three years he was with us and he didn’t go through a prolonged illness at the end.
I’ve been trying to go to sleep earlier because my husband asked me to. I’m not suited to it, but I’m doing it. Some nights my meds will knock me out an hour or so after I come to bed. Other nights it’s much longer. Every night I wake up off and on through the night. I’m trying to get used to getting up earlier as well, but that’s difficult to adjust to also. Raven is up late every night and if I try to wake her before 11 it usually takes a few tries. I guess that will sort itself out when she gets a job.
Tonight I went to bed but there is discord, and I am far from sleep, so here I am. The wind is howling around the house, scaring the animals. Deek looks frightened while Jack is all eyes and ears, waiting to see what’s trying to come through the door. Merlin is indifferent to the weather, as usual. Anyway, I like to feel my husband when I’m laying in bed, even if it’s just a hand resting on his back. Last night we lay together and he held me and said “That’s mine” and it hurt my heart. It hurt because he hasn’t said something like that for so long and it pierced my armor. It gave me hope. After everything that has happened I thought my defenses were tougher than that, but apparently they are not. Just that little gesture and those three words meant a lot to me. I had thoughts of how tonight might go, but things never turn out how you imagine it. I guess all I can do it try a little harder. Enough about that.
.I’m currently reading “American Vampire“, “Dead Mountain“, a book of short stories by Ray Bradbury and re-reading “Blaze” by Stephen King. The first two are holding my attention the most. “Dead Mountain” is about the incident in the Ural Mountains where a hiking group of 9 students were found dead under mysterious circumstances. It’s been fascinating people since it happened, in the 1950s. The book is a good one and I’m about halfway through it. “American Vampire” is great. I’m currently reading Volume 3. Before that, I read the first volume of “Coffin Hill”. I’ve been going through my comics and there are some I want to try to sell. Others I want to re-read at some point, and there are a couple of on-going series that I’m reading. I was taking Raven to the comic book store, but she loses interest, and she doesn’t bring her own money to spend. Maybe when she gets a job we’ll try it again. In the meantime, I need to book our tickets for our Southwest trip. It’s coming up fast and I’m looking forward to it.
Raven wants to be a writer. I tell her that she has to read books, and write, every day, if she wants to be a writer. She’d rather skype with people in California and tumblr. I can’t help but worry about her. I think that comes with the territory though. I’ve been worrying about her, and her brother to an extent, for most of their lives. I want her to have everything. I want her to meet real life friends she can hang out with, a real life love interest, and go to school and get her degree. I want her to be happy and adjusted. I know these things take time, and she has made some progress. Being here has helped but I feel like she’s stuck so I’m trying to get her unstuck.