Missing you

My computer is dying. Something is wrong with the hard drive so I’ll have to take it in for repairs and hope it doesn’t cost too much. In the meantime, I’m behind on the blog, of course. I’ve been running backups and diagnostics and it takes forever and a day to load anything. Still a weak excuse.

  I don’t think this new doc is going to work out. I think I need someone who is not as detached as he is. I don’t really see myself being able to tell this man about my inner workings so I suppose I’ll ask him this week who else he might be able to recommend. I really hate starting with someone new.

  I’ve been thinking of Wendy a lot lately. I miss her desperately. I hope she knows that, wherever she is, in whatever comes after. I still feel guilty for not getting there sooner. I felt that if I saw you while you were in the coma that you’d know I was there supporting you, and could lend you my strength. But I was told not to come, and that I wouldn’t be able to see you anyway. I thought you were getting better right up until I got the call that you were dead. Wendy, I miss you, and I’m sorry I wasn’t there to get your message that day. I don’t know what you wanted to tell me before you went to the hospital. I’m just sorry I wasn’t there to talk to you one last time. I’ve been trying to find your blog. I found one blog, but not the one that we used to write in. It may be private. I’m hoping I still have it saved on my computer somewhere, along with our chats. Those were precious to me.

So I found your blog… I have it saved to my computer, and it is still online, just not listed. How I miss you. I wish I could have been your bridesmaid. You should have had your happily ever after.


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